A reader writes:
I’ve started my job search. I was contacted by a recruiter about a position. I heard her out and she wanted to move me forward — great! But she’s been absolutely excessive to the point I almost don’t want to continue through the process.
Some examples:
– We had a phone interview, and she said she wanted to pass me along and then sent me the job description. She then wanted to do a FaceTime interview a day later after I had a chance to read the job description. We didn’t talk about any new information.
– I’ve told her multiple times I prefer email communication. She has called me every single day, to “update me on the process.” However, every day except for the one where she told me the company wanted to do a phone interview, her “update” was “I haven’t heard anything.” Again, I really don’t have the time to disrupt my day for non-urgent calls.
– She sent me an email where I had to agree to a submittal policy where her recruiting firm basically says, “We’ve invested a ton of time, and if you decide to not take this offer we want you to know we really frown on this.” Obviously, I’m continuing through the process until I know whether or not I’m interested and would have every intention to tell them at that point.
– She has been calling me all week so that we can touch base before my phone interview with the company. She sent me an email with the information she wants to talk about — for example, that I should find a quiet place for the phone interview, that I should do background research on the company beforehand, that I should sound interested in the role, and other basics. I’m in my mid-thirties and am kind of insulted that I need to be prepped for a phone interview.
I’d been considering taking myself out of the running due to her behavior, and I’m not really sure if I’m overreacting and whether or not I should tell her.
Then, I had to ask to reschedule my phone interview because my daughter got diagnosed with influenza and will be home with me the rest of the week. Since her previous email told me to be in a quiet place, I just said I had a personal emergency and would like to reschedule for next week. Her response: “I only want to reschedule if you’re 100% sure you can make it as the managers are pressed for time and it takes a lot to rearrange their schedules. This isn’t looking good on you as a candidate.”
I want to respond that this is so high maintenance and tell her to take me off the list. I am probably taking myself out of the running anyway because I’m not that hard up for a job. Do I even tell her SHE is the one turning me off?
She sound like a huge pain in the ass.
If I were the employer, I would not be pleased to find out that a recruiter I was using was handling candidates this way — both because it’s a crappy way to treat candidates, and because I wouldn’t want her prepping candidates like that. If someone doesn’t know on their own that they should sound interested in the job, that’s information I’d like to have, and I wouldn’t appreciate her disguising that from me. She’s coming across here like she’s working for herself, not for the employer she’s recruiting for, and is solely out for the commission. (I mean, external recruiters do work for themselves and the commission, but good recruiters who care about doing their jobs well don’t operate like this. They care about the long-term satisfaction of both parties.)
Anyway, because she’s an external recruiter, it’s possible that the employer itself is great. But the question for you, of course, is if you’re willing to run her condescending gauntlet in order to get access to it.
It sounds like you feel you have plenty of options and aren’t particularly invested in this job, and so it might make sense to push back and figure that if she takes you out of the running as a result, you don’t really care. (And the reality is, if the company is really interested in you and/or she has a lack of other candidates, she might be willing to let you set your terms.)
If you want to go that route, you could say something like, “I’m interested in this job, but I need to be clear: I am busy at work and cannot have daily phone calls about it. If you need to reach me, please use email. I’ve asked this before, but you’ve continued calling daily, and I will need to withdraw from the process if that continues.” (Also, stop answering her calls. If she leaves a message asking you to call her back, reply with an email and tell her it’ll be tough to reach you by phone that day but you’re available by email.)
You could also respond to her chastising email about rescheduling with something like, “Of course I understand that the managers I’ll be meeting with are pressed for time. I’m a professional myself. I’m rescheduling because it’s unavoidable.” Personally, I’d add, “I’m of course looking for a company where people understand that sometimes that happens.”
And yes, if you get too fed up with her and just want to be done with the whole thing, you can tell her that. It’s important for recruiters — and hiring managers and HR reps and other people involved with hiring — to hear that kind of feedback. So many job seekers don’t have the luxury of delivering that kind of message — because they don’t have other options, feel nervous about putting the job at risk, etc. — so you’d almost certainly be speaking up for lots of other people who didn’t feel they could.
my recruiter is so overbearing and obnoxious that I’m thinking of withdrawing my application was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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