It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes:
I’ve been going back and forth with a pretty weird problem, and someone suggested your blog as a good place to go for advice (I’m so happy I discovered it, by the way!). Here’s what’s going on….
I am a woman in my late 20s and I have been in a polyamorous relationship with a married couple for the past eight months. Things are going well, and I’m planning on moving in with them this summer when my lease is up. I never saw my life going in this direction but I’m really happy!
The problem is I’m not sure how “out” I should be about this at work. I work in a medium-sized (20 people or so) office in a major U.S. city. The office is generally on the liberal side, but it’s still very much a traditional white collar environment in many ways. I honestly have no idea how my coworkers would react to this. I’m generally a pretty private person, and I don’t want to overshare or make people uncomfortable. I also like my job and don’t want this to affect my employment or professional future.
I haven’t said anything so far to anyone, but now that this relationship has become serious I’m not sure where to go from here. One part of me says to just keep it totally on the DL. On the other hand, my relationship affects huge parts of my life — where I live, what I spend my time doing, etc., and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with lying or being evasive for the foreseeable future. I’d also like to have a photo of us on my desk!
Right now I’m thinking that what I might do is refer to them as my “good friends” to anyone who asks, and let people read between the lines. I don’t know though… does that seem like a reasonable plan?
For the record, my partners are NO help on this… they’re both in the art world and have never worked an office job in their lives. Most of our friends are in nontraditional careers too — I’m the weird one who puts on a suit every day!
Readers, what’s your advice? I’d especially love to hear from poly people.
I’m polyamorous — should I be out at work? was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
from Ask a Manager http://bit.ly/2JY5bPx
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