A reader writes:
I started a new job a few months ago. Everything is great and I like my coworkers, except for one thing: one of my coworkers brings her daughter to work every day and it’s driving me crazy.
Shortly after I started, we moved to a new office, going from individual office spaces to an open plan with cubicles. One coworker had been in the habit for several years of having her daughter come and hang out in her office for the hour between when school let out and we were done for the day. With the move, she now has to leave to go pick her daughter up, and instead of said child being quietly contained in a closed-door office, she’s now either in her mom’s cubicle or parked in the entryway sitting area right next to our cubes.
Which wouldn’t be an issue, except now, every day for at least an hour, often longer, the office fills up with giggles and child-conversation, while she tells her mom all about her day. Some days the kid is cranky and so I get to listen to an hour of the mom shushing the child or otherwise trying to appease her. There are almost daily debates regarding snacks: the mom brought a healthy snack for the kid, but the child is more interested in scamming our office snacks than eating those carrot sticks. We have communal snacks usually floating around, but pretty regularly they get decimated by this pint-sized locust. And the mom, who doesn’t usually partake in our snacks herself, never offers to replace them– in fact she tends to either laugh it off, or make comments about how we shouldn’t have junk food in the office anyway. I’ve noticed more and more people tucking their treats away out of sight, which has led to an uptake in frustrated child whining about how she’s hungry.
Our entryway becomes like a romper room, which has been an issue when I’ve had clients coming through in the late afternoon with nowhere to sit because the kid has spread out her homework/ activities. It also effectively puts the mom out of commission for that period, at least for our working relationship — she can work in her cube, but it’s weird stopping by to talk about projects or have a meeting with her with the kid parked in a beanbag squeezed in the tiny cubicle.
This happens every day, regardless of what else is going on. I’ve been on calls before where I have difficulty hearing the person on the other end because right across the cubicle wall there’s a conversation about fractions going on.
Our office isn’t a great environment for a kid. Just today, in fact, after hearing some lighthearted jokes that were a little past PG-13, the mom sent a group email asking everyone to remember there were “little ears” listening.
What’s more, another employee, also new, has now started having her daughter come by after school as well. She’s of a similar age to child number one, and now the two of them giggle/sing/chit chat together, increasing the noise.
Can I say anything? I feel like this was never a declared choice in this workplace, rather just something that started and never caused a problem when we had actual walls. I’m also still relatively new, and while other people have remarked on it, no one’s said anything to her directly. Our boss still has walls and a door and so I don’t think realizes how loud this child can be.
My coworker has worked here for many years and is a single parent. I feel for her, and I can see my boss not wanting to rock this boat in case it changed her productivity. Can I say anything or should I just get some noise cancelling headphones and reconcile myself to the fact that the last hour of every day will involve children?
You can read my answer to this letter at New York Magazine today. Head over there to read it.
my coworker’s kid disrupts our office every day was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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