A reader writes:
To sum up, in brief: What do you do when your coworkers are too afraid to address an issue as a group since one experienced retaliation?
I have a project manager who should not be a project manager. He is a very nice person who cares about everyone he encounters. What he is NOT is a good manager, and he should not be even remotely connected to anything that involves managing people.
The PM is a work hoarder, an information hoarder, does not train anyone, is extremely poor at communicating, takes everything personally, and regularly throws each member of the team under the bus as scapegoats to Head Boss for not completing work that the PM did not even tell us about.
An example of a common interaction with a group member:
PM: “Why haven’t the sketches been completed yet?”
Coworker: “I don’t know how to submit the final draft. You said you’d show me three months ago.”
PM: “Oh. Well, you should have done it. You should have reminded me.”
Coworker: “I did remind you, several times actually?”
PM: “Then you should have put something on my calendar.”
Coworker: “I did, but you didn’t show up.”
PM: “Oh. Well, just get it done.”
Coworker: “Do you have time to train me? Or send the link to the submission site?”
PM: “I have a meeting so I can’t show you now.”
A few months ago, he took a vacation and that week team efficiency went up 100% because with him out of the office, there were no information bottlenecks, things got finished on time, etc. When he got back, it was like someone threw a wet blanket over the entire group: morale visibly plummeted and inefficiency promptly returned. It was sad because he was obviously happy to be back – but it was so obvious that no one was happy to see him return from vacation.
All of the group has spoken to him at varying times about these problems, but it appears to have done absolutely nothing and had no impact. He has apparently been telling other teams that our group is problematic and not helping him or performing. But the real problem is him – the group can’t perform or help when he is hoarding work/information, is terrible at communicating, and they are constantly being undermined.
I have suggested to the other group members that we approach Head Boss as a group with our issues as you have recommended in the past, but they are afraid to do so. The touchy point is that Head Boss and PM have been friends for over a decade, so bringing it up to Head Boss that there is an issue is a very difficult and potentially sticky situation. Last year one of the group members tried to address the situation with Head Boss and had the entire situation turned around on them, with PM made to look like a saint and a victim. This group member is still feeling professional repercussions from it.
We are all stuck where we are, as the company is small and we are in an area where it is difficult to find other jobs, so leaving or moving elsewhere is out of the question. We all like the work and like the PM as a person. It’s as a manager that these problems are beginning to burgeon out of control and things continue to worsen.
What could I do to convince the group that it NEEDS to be addressed, as it’s impacting our careers (which I’ve told them)? And/or what should we do as a group to address this problem? And what dialogue should we use?
Well, you may not be able to. You can try, but if they’re not willing to do it, you may have to accept that.
And I can understand their reluctance, given that Head Boss is good friends with the project manager. That will pretty much always have a silencing effect on people who otherwise might raise concerns — because they understandably worry that their concerns won’t be handled fairly and impartially, and that it may even come back to bite them. And in fact, it sounds like that’s exactly what happened with your coworker last year. So people’s hesitation makes a lot of sense.
This, of course, is one reason (of many) why it’s so important for managers not to have close friendships with people they manage. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop some of them.
In any case … You can try arguing to your coworkers that the whole point of raising something as a group is that there’s safety in numbers — that it’s much harder to retaliate against an entire group of people, and that the message will be harder for Head Boss to ignore when it’s coming from all of you. And you can suggest that the group frame it not as “we’re complaining about your friend,” but rather as “we have concerns that we want your advice on handling” … which can cut down on any blow-back.
But ultimately, your coworkers might be making rational decisions in choosing not to wade into this, given the dynamics you’ve described. If they care more about preserving a reasonably harmonious status quo than about solving the problem with the project manager … well, you and I might disagree with them, but it’s a call they’re entitled to make.
It’s certainly worth giving it a final shot — outlining exactly how you think the approach to Head Boss would work, why you don’t think it’ll go over as poorly as your coworker’s attempt last year, etc. — but in the end it’s their call.
There’s also some danger in pushing people too hard when they’re not ready to do something like this … because that’s when you end up in a situation where you think everyone is going to speak as a group, but they end up letting you do it all on your own.
So if that doesn’t work, are there other solutions? Can you start cc’ing Head Boss on particularly egregious emails from the project manager? Looping her in when the project manager drops the ball? Again, this doesn’t have to be framed as “PM messed up” — it can be, “Hmmm, we’re going to miss this deadline because of the late notice — so I’m looping in Head Boss to see if there’s a way to avoid this in the future.” Or, “Head Boss, see below. Do you have thoughts on how we can navigate this?”
Or would your coworkers be willing to go as a group to the project manager, if not to the Head Boss herself? It’s possible that a really direct intervention from all of you would get through to him … although if the problem is incompetence, then by definition that may not be possible.
Ultimately, though, you’re right that it’s going to be more effective for someone to give Head Boss an unvarnished explanation of what’s going on. But if she hasn’t created the conditions that make people feel safe doing that, then I can’t blame them for choosing self-protection first.
That leaves you with either doing it yourself (with whatever risk that might entail) or accepting that, for now at least, Your Project Manager — and thus your Head Boss — Sucks and Isn’t Going to Change. That would mean that your options are either to accept it and find a way to be reasonably okay with it (or at least to stop beating your head against the wall trying to get it to change) or to look for another job, as tough as that might be.
what do you do when your coworkers are afraid to address a problem as a group? was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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