A reader writes:
This is such a niche and gross question. I work in a very upscale building in a large city, where we have high-end, VIP, A-list celebrity clients on our floor at least several times a week. Needless to say, it’s important for us to always look and act in the most professional manner possible.
There are four office suites on my floor, and all of the employees in all offices are generally very courteous and kind and very professional and discreet. However. One employee in one of the other higher-end offices has a habit of taking/making phone calls in the shared bathroom, while she is doing her personal bodily business. This is so disgusting and unprofessional, and two of our clients have mentioned something to us about being weirded out while trying to do their personal bodily business, during a time that this (outside of my company) employee does hers. Additionally, I was just in there, she came in, CLEARLY DID NUMBER TWO WHILE ON THE PHONE WITH A BUSINESS CONTACT AND DID NOT WASH HER HANDS BEFORE LEAVING.
This is so gross, and it makes the shared bathroom experience really uncomfortable. She’s maybe in her 30s, not American (I am in a large west coast city), and speaks very loudly. I thought that this was a cultural thing maybe? I asked my partner (who is from the same city/country she is) if this is the norm/not as obscene as it seems to me in their home country? And they told me, no, officially no, “I’ve never heard or seen anyone do that, ever.”
What do I do? This is such a fragile/awkward thing to talk about. Do I bring it up with her boss? Do I leave an anonymous note? We all need our clients to have a wonderful experience from top to .. er.. bottom, when they are in our office space, and this kind of shit (pun intended) does not help!
Ew.
The next time you’re in the bathroom with her, why not just say, “This is awkward to ask, but could I ask you not to take calls in the stall? We’ve had some clients say they don’t feel comfortable using the toilet while someone is on the phone right next to them.” You could even wait for one of the calls to wrap up and say this when she comes out.
Obviously it’s going to feel awkward, but that’s okay! Don’t take the awkwardness as a sign that you shouldn’t proceed; there is no way to address this that won’t feel weird. You just have to move through the awkwardness. In fact, ideally you’d even embrace it! If nothing else, though, remember that the awkwardness is being created by her, not you. She is the poopetrator, and any weirdness that results from saying this out loud stems from her choices, not yours.
But if you just can’t bring yourself to say something directly, another option is to talk with your boss (as long as you’re not so senior that you’d be expected to handle this on your own). The fact that clients have mentioned it makes it easier to bring up without seeming like you’re monitoring someone else’s bathroom habits or making too big a deal out of something that’s gross but not necessarily escalation-worthy.
You could explain that clients have mentioned this, that you’ve noticed it yourself, and that you’re wondering if there’s a way to address it since clients are squicked out. From there, your boss gets to make the call about whether to do anything. If she chooses not to, it’s officially not your problem. (Although if you think it’s grossing out your clients to the point that it’s affecting your company’s relationship with them, tell your boss that too, because if nothing else, your company needs a strategy for how to handle that.)
But I would not do the anonymous note, no matter how tempting. It’s going to be an awfully weird sign for your clients to see, and people are notorious for ignoring signs left in bathrooms. I’d also leave the hand-washing out of it, no matter how grossed out you are by that, because that’s about her personal hygiene and you don’t the same standing to comment on it as you do with the calls (and I’m sorry to say, she’s almost definitely not the only one guilty of that).
someone is taking phone calls while using the toilet in our shared bathroom was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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