How do I get a job after being a terrible employee due to treatment resistant depression now that I am better?
I have a degree in Art History and got a teacher certification in K-6. I did half the requirements for a master’s in Education, but opted for an alternative certification program because it was a faster route to a job. Once I started teaching, due to inexperience, the slow, painful death of my father, an undedicated “mentor,” the unending responsibilities of teaching, I experienced extreme anxiety and spiraled into a very dark place due to treatment resistant depression, for which I will be on meds for life (That’s okay with me. I would not be alive without them). I had to take a leave of absence, and eventually quit my job,
I have followed this pattern for 20+ years. I start a job and pressures mount. Eventually, I experience PTSD and depressive symptoms and have to take leave or just quit.
I take pride in my way and strive to do a good job, but eventually, I experience so much anxiety, I get PTSD symptoms like nightmares and insomnia . I begin to feed inadequate and a failure and loser, once again, to the point I feel like I don’t want to live because I’m just not good at it.
All this to say, I don’t have good references. Bosses fell let down and betrayed. Co-workers resent the extra workload for them that my absences cause.
I’m so ashamed, I’m embarrassed to ask anyone for references. I haven’t stayed in contact with any employers and co-workers.
I have many job skills and would like to re-enter the job force in some capacity. I haven’t worked on five years.
Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to get hired in a job where I can use my skills? Due to arthritis, I can’t work retail because I can’t stand for long periods of time.
How could I get hired with no references from former employers?
Thank you from any advice you might have.
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