It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. My husband’s boss says he can’t expense my meals
My husband gets per diem for trip meals — it’s a “you can spend up to this amount for each eligible meal” kind of deal. He uses a company card and submits an expense report to his boss with receipts. I sometimes go with him on trips, but my expenses are my own; however, his per diem is large enough that sometimes he can buy some extra food to share with me.
My husband says that he is staying within policy by only using the money allotted. He doesn’t go over, and when he is by himself, he hits as close to the top of the allotment as possible anyway.
Recently, after a trip, his newer boss decided that there was too much food on the individual receipts even if they were within the allotment and that he was clearly feeding his family. So he rejected some of the food expenses.
I am a little torn about how to look at the per diem. It is meant to cover expenses incurred that would not be otherwise, but why would he care if there were no overages?
No, you definitely 100% cannot do this! It’s not “do whatever want with this money as long as you don’t go over the limit.” It’s “we will pay to feed you on business trips, up to a maximum of $X.” If his expense limit is $80/day, he can’t buy meals for himself that cost $40 and then spend the other $40 on a sweater. That’s not what it’s for. It’s to feed him — and only him.
They care about the overages for the same reason that your boss would care if she told you that you could spend up to $700 on a new printer and you bought a $500 printer and pocketed the rest. I’m assuming you wouldn’t say, “Why would she care if I didn’t have an overage,” right? It’s the same thing here.
It’s completely reasonable that his employer is rejecting the receipts for feeding his spouse! They never agreed to do that, they shouldn’t agree to do that, and he’s actually lucky that he’s not in real trouble for trying to do that.
Updated to add: Part of the confusion here is likely that someone (could be the company, could be just the wording in your letter) is calling this a per diem, when it’s really a reimbursement cap. I’ve noticed people increasingly calling the latter a per diem, but it seems pretty clear from the details here that this is a reimbursement cap instead.
2. Ouija board decor at work
I share an office with two other coworkers who seldom see — I work nights, they work days/my days off — so I don’t know them well. One has slowly been adding decoration to the office that is very understated fandom, that you wouldn’t recognize unless you are also a fan (which I am). That’s fine! But today I came in and they’ve replaced the mousepad with a ouija board one and I am weirdly uncomfortable with that. How can I object to it to people I barely know or see, especially without coming off as super religious (since that seems to be the most common objection to it, but I could not possibly be less religious)? Or am I being way too sensitive not wanting it at work?
Nah, you get to be uncomfortable with it. Some people are uncomfortable with ouija stuff for religious reasons, others because it just creeps them out, and others because they don’t believe in what it represents and don’t particularly want symbols of it in their space. All of those are legitimate, as are any other reason you might have.
Do you see this coworker at all, even just in passing? If so, you could say, “Hey, I really like the (name one or two decorations they added that you do like), but I’m weirdly creeped out by the ouija board mousepad. Would you mind if I brought in a different one, or if we just switched back to the other one?”
Worst case scenario, you just switch it out yourself at the start and end of your shift, but a reasonable coworker will get this and be fine with changing it. Reasonable people will not insist other people use objects that are known to bother others (even if she overlooked that originally).
3. I worked a ton of overtime and am getting a lunch in return
Over the last month I’ve accumulated approximately an additional 80 hours of time-worked. I’m salaried, paid just over the required level to pay for excess hours worked, and am not allowed to bank hours for additional vacation time.
As a reward for my department significantly achieving its goals, and doing so “under payroll budget,” I was going to be taken to lunch. I declined, insinuating that I had something personal come up, during the scheduled luncheon. Should I feel upset that the extra 80 hours I worked are being valued as merely a lunch?! I’m having a hard time not being “salty” about this.
Well, the thing about being salaried is that you don’t get paid more for working more (or less for working less). But in a healthy organization, you can it spin into additional time off (comp time or similar), flexibility when you need it, or in some cases a promotion (if it’s consistent and accompanied by excellent work) — and are paid enough to make it worth it.
In your case, it sounds like that’s not happening. If you’re being paid “just over” the threshold to be exempt from overtime, that means you’re making just over $23,660 — and that’s definitely not enough to be expected to work 80 extra hours in a month without some recognition greater than a lunch. So you’re right to be feeling salty, but I think that’s likely about the overall work set-up there and not just this lunch. I’d take this as a nudge to assess whether you’re happy with your job and compensation generally. More immediately, though, try asking if you can use some of that extra time as comp time — framing it as, “Since I’ve been working so many hours this month, I haven’t had a chance to take care of other commitments at home. Could I take X hours as comp time over the next month?”
4. Can I put the skills I learned but not the job itself on my resume?
After staying for too long in an entry-level job, I decided to move on and landed a position in the field more aligned to what I studied. However, the work was very specific and demanding and for various reasons (health issues, insufficient training, workload not fitting someone just starting out, etc.), I did not succeed in this role, and after the three-month probation period I was let go. As both the management and other people with experience in this field confirmed, it was more because I was not a good fit for this specific role rather than not doing good work in general.
Even so, in those three months I managed to learn a lot — for example, a lot of specific terminology, managing my workload more efficiently, or using software which is a great help in this work. How – if possible – can I include these new skills on my resume without including the job itself? Although it was not enough for this job, I believe there are many other possibilities out there where these skills could come in handy.
I am not too concerned with the gap because I have been doing other work and activities as well, but including the skills mentioned above in my resume could help me a lot in my job search, I am only at a loss how to go about it.
Resumes aren’t really a place to list skills you’ve learned; on your resume, you really want to be talking in concrete terms about things you’ve done and accomplishments you’ve had. So even if you were listing this job, you still wouldn’t write anything about learning to manage your workload efficiently or learning terminology.
You can list the software in a Technical Skills section if that’s appropriate for your field, and if an interviewer asks where you used it, you can say explain it was at a short-term job that isn’t on your resume. But the other stuff isn’t really resume-worthy.
5. How to stop yawning in meetings
I often find once I start yawning during meetings I can’t stop! If the room is a bit stuffy, if I’m a bit tired, if I don’t have much to say … I can hold out for around 15 minutes before the yawning begins. It’s a minor issue that’s bugged me my entire career, not least because I’m most likely to do it in meetings full of seniors where I have less than usual to contribute. It even happens during one-to-ones where I’m genuinely interested in hearing from the other person.
Asides from politely covering my mouth and occasionally apologizing for it, I’ve never found anything to effectively deal with it. Can your readers give their best tips for getting yawning under control?
A few years ago, sitting in a waiting room before getting Lasik, I discovered that I apparently yawn uncontrollably when I’m really nervous. After I was back at home and allowed to open my eyes, I googled it and discovered this is a thing? I had no idea.
But that’s neither here nor there. Back to what you’re actually asking: Consider the question asked. Suggestions welcome in the comments.
my husband’s boss says he can’t expense my meals, oujia boards at work and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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