A reader writes:
You’ve answered versions of this question before, but this chatty coworker question is slightly different. I work at the front desk of a small nonprofit museum that has a rotating pool of volunteers. I started out as a volunteer, and still do a fair amount of volunteer work, so I’m kind of a bridge between the volunteers and employees. The best part of the museum is definitely the community of volunteers/employees it attracts — everyone is pretty young and extremely passionate and interesting.
Recently, a research intern joined the team. She’s very sweet and well-meaning, but talks CONSTANTLY, to the point that several people have approached me to quietly comment on the fact that she never ever stops talking. It seems like she’s just very anxious about being liked, and is trying to overcompensate. In so doing, she’s actively annoying everyone within earshot.
When she does her research, she’s typically at the front desk with me — a slightly isolated area — and the effect is twofold: 1) my friends at the museum avoid stopping by the front desk to talk to me, because they’re avoiding the chatty intern, and 2) I end up listening politely to the intern for the entirety of my shift.
It also doesn’t help that my front-desk job is fairly non-demanding. She always stops talking whenever a customer walks in, but as soon as I’m finished with their transaction, she starts again. I can’t honestly say “Sorry, I can’t talk, I have work to do” because if there are no customers, I GENUINELY DON’T.
I’m at a loss. Her immediate boss and my immediate boss (both friends of mine) have said privately to me, with varying degrees of tact, that they don’t know what to do about the intern because she’s so annoying. What constructive feedback can you give to someone like that without confirming their worst anxieties? Is there a polite way to say “Please talk 10% of the amount that you currently do, so I don’t actively resent you?”
Yep, this is different than previous letters I’ve answered about overly chatty coworkers, because in those cases people were able to credibly say they couldn’t talk/had to get back to a work project.
So, a couple of options:
1. While you can’t say you have work to do, you could in theory say you have something else to do. You could have a book you need to read for a book club — actually, no, you don’t even need to invent a fake book club. You could just say, “I’ve been dying to use this time to read this book so I’m not going to chat today!” Or for a longer-term solution: “I’ve realized this is my best time for reading, so I’ve started bringing books with me. Sorry I won’t be up for chatting!” You could do the same thing with a personal writing project, reading the news, catching up on your correspondence with your great-aunt, or anything else you want to spend that time on.
2. Be direct: “Would you mind if we didn’t talk so much while we’re up here? I like to have some quiet time in between customers, and I think if we’re constantly talking it deters other people from stopping by.” You could add, “I don’t mind a little chat, of course, but I like some time to be in my own head too.” Then reinforce that; if her calibration of “a little chat” is still way too much, talk to for a bit and then say, “Okay, I’m going to spend some time reading now.” Or, on the other end of that, if she seems to think this means she can NEVER speak, model an appropriate amount of chat by asking her a warm, friendly question at some point (and be prepared with a conversation-ending strategy, like leaving for the bathroom or to get coffee if this opens the chatting floodgates).
But also, her boss should really be addressing this. That’s part of managing an intern — or managing anyone, really. This is annoying other people and making them avoid her, and they have an obligation to address it with her by saying something (in private) like, “We love having you here and you’re doing great work. One thing I’ve noticed is that you’re pretty chatty with others. It’s great for you to form relationships with other people here, but I want you to pull back on how much chatting you’re doing since other people are working or just may need quiet space. It’s fine to have a short conversation, but be mindful of how long it’s going on — a couple of minutes is fine, but usually people should get back to work after that.”
And yes, this risks the intern thinking it doesn’t apply to you since you don’t have actual work you need to be doing when she talks to you. But as a manager, I’d start here and see if it solves the problem. If it doesn’t, then she can address that piece of it more directly.
our intern won’t stop talking — but I can’t tell her I need to get back to work was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
from Ask a Manager https://ift.tt/2qkt6O7
via IFTTT
कोई टिप्पणी नहीं: