from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2sXku1c
गुरुवार, 31 जनवरी 2019
Top airline is selling flights for $44
Trump Associate Roger Stone Pleads Not Guilty in Obstruction Case
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2GgqSsa
'El Chapo' must not 'escape' again, U.S. prosecutor tells jury
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2ToZpIz
US reiterates 'all options on the table' as John Bolton accidentally flashes plans for troops to Venezuela border
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2FVfcMr
Ebola Survivor Dr. Rick Sacra Receiving Prestigious Award to Expand Medical Mission in Liberia
Dr. Rick Sacra was exposed to the Ebola virus in 2014 while caring for pregnant women at a Christian hospital in Liberia. He narrowly survived.
from CBNNews.com http://bit.ly/2DJgPul
from CBNNews.com http://bit.ly/2DJgPul
Best Buy Goes Back on Decision to Fire Security Guard Who Tackled Suspect
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Tyson recalls chicken nuggets over reports of rubber inside
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2TsX7bL
Pound Falls After U.K. Lawmakers Reject Plan to Delay Brexit
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2RrNVCj
PG&E files for bankruptcy after California wildfires
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2FXuT5L
Trump orders ‘several thousand’ more troops to US-Mexico border, costing taxpayers over $600m
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2Gbp047
Man arrested for killing 3 also accused of stealing $210K
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Venezuela targets Guaido with probe, travel ban, asset freeze
The court also said prosecutors could investigate Guaido, in apparent retaliation for sweeping U.S. sanctions on oil firm PDVSA, announced on Monday. The sanctions mean the state-run company may not be able to fulfill contracts with North American buyers, the government of President Nicolas Maduro said. Aimed at driving Maduro from power, the sanctions were the strongest measures yet against the 56-year-old former union leader, who has overseen economic collapse and an exodus of millions of Venezuelans in recent years.
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2HCSAle
NASA’s mission to ‘Touch the Sun’ just reached a major milestone
NASA had a big year in 2018 with several bold new missions to study various features of our Solar System, and one of the most exciting was the launch of the Parker Solar Probe which will study the Sun in more detail than has ever been possible before. The probe has already broken several records and proven that it's capable of enduring the intensity of our star, and it's starting out 2019 by adding another notch to its belt. The probe, which launched in August of last year, recently completed its first full orbit of the Sun on January 19th. It's a feat that the spacecraft will repeat many times over the next several years, but completing the first full loop is obviously cause for celebration. "It's been an illuminating and fascinating first orbit," Parker Solar Probe Project Manager Andy Driesman said in a statement. "We've learned a lot about how the spacecraft operates and reacts to the solar environment, and I'm proud to say the team's projections have been very accurate." The probe gathered a huge amount of data during its first trip around the Sun, and it performed much of its work without being in radio contact of its handlers back on Earth. As it orbits the Sun, the probe will regularly lose contact with Earth and then reconnect when it emerges from behind the star once more. Thus far, the probe has sent back over 17 gigs of scientific data and it's still streaming more observation data back. The data dump won't be finished until April, NASA says. The probe is expected to put in nearly seven years of work, making a total of 24 orbits and getting gradually closer to the Sun with each pass. It is tasked with observing many different functions of the star, including the generation of solar wind and the outflow of energy from the Sun into space, advancing our understanding of solar weather.
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2ToE2Ya
Alibaba profit up 37% but revenue growth eases
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2Wv5llx
Dutch Cabinet Gets Emergency Powers in Case of No-Deal Brexit
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2DIHQ0S
Teased 2020 Toyota Tacoma debuting at Chicago Auto Show
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2RsgGPr
Polar vortex causes another lousy travel day for fliers, over 3,500 flights canceled
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2BcIeDj
Howard Dean warns Schultz's 'vanity candidacy' could mean a 2nd term for Trump
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2sZe6q8
Sheriff: Suspect confesses to killing 5 with dad's gun
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2UqdGVF
New book exposes one of the biggest political scandals in history and the Democrats' unseemly cover-up
from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2sWtNi3
RRB JE Recruitment 2019 : जल्दी करें, 31 जनवरी है 13487 पदों के लिए अप्लाई करने की अंतिम तिथि
rrb JE Recruitment 2019 : Railway Recruitment Board (RRB) Junior engineer (JE) recruitment 2019 के लिए ऑनलाइन रजिस्ट्रेशन प्रक्रिया पूरी करने की अंतिम तिथि 31 जनवरी, 2019 है। सभी इच्छुक और योग्य उम्मीदवार RRB या RRB regional websites पर जाकर तय फॉर्मेट में इन पदों के लिए अप्लाई कर सकते हैं।
RRB JE recruitment 2019 : रिक्ति विवरण
कुल पद : 13 हजार 487 पद
रिक्ति विवरण
-Junior Engineer : 12 हजार 844 पद
-Junior Engineer (Information Technology) : 29 पद
-Depot Material Superintendent : 227 पद
-Chemical and Metallurgical Assistant : 387 पद
RRB JE Recruitment 2019 : पात्रता मानदंड
इन पदों के लिए आवेदन करने के इच्छुक उम्मीदवारों ने किसी भी मान्यता प्राप्त यूनिवर्सिटी/संस्थान से BE/ BTech, Diploma in Engineering, PGDCA, BSc, BCA, DOEACC 'B' Level Course डिग्री हासिल कर रखी हो।
RRB JE recruitment 2019 : ऐसे करें अप्लाई
-RRBs की आधिकारिक वेबसाइट पर जाएं
-होमपेज खुलने पर 'RRB JE recruitment' लिंक पर क्लिक करें
-वैध ई-मेल आईडी और मोबाइल नंबर के जरिए अपना रजिस्ट्रेशन करें
-तय फॉर्मेट में अपना आवेदन फॉर्म भरें
-ऑनलाइन आवेदन शुल्क अदा करें
-सबमिट पर क्लिक करें
-भरे हुए आवेदन फॉर्म का प्रिंट आउट ले लें
RRB JE Recruitment 2019 : आवेदन शुल्क
सामान्य और ओबीसी श्रेणी के उम्मीदवारों को शुल्क के रूप में 500 रुपए अदा करने होंगे, जबकि अनुसूचित जाति/अनुसूचित जनजाति के उम्मीदवारों से 250 रुपए लिए जाएंगे
RRB JE Recruitment 2019 : वेतन
चयनित सभी उम्मीदवारों को प्रति माह 34 हजार 400 रुपए वेतन के रूप में दिए जाएंगे।
RRB JE Recruitment 2019 : उम्र सीमा
-1 जनवरी, 2019 के अनुसार, उम्मीदवारों की उम्र 18 से 31 साल के बीच होनी चाहिए।
-ओबीसी और अनुसूचित जाति/अनुसूचित जनजाति के उम्मीदवारों को उम्र सीमा में क्रमश: तीन और पांच साल की छूट दी जाएगी।
RRB JE Recruitment 2019 : जरूरी तारीखें
-ऑनलाइन आवेदन जमा करने की अंतिम तिथि : 31 जनवरी, 2918
-आवेदन शुल्क जमा करने की अंतिम तिथि : 5 फरवरी, 2019
from Patrika : India's Leading Hindi News Portal http://bit.ly/2sWobEn
UPSSSC Recruitment 2019 नोटिफिकेशन जारी, आवेदन प्रक्रिया शुरू, यहां से करें आवेदन
UP govt jobs 2019 उत्तर प्रदेश सरकार द्वारा ग्रेजुएट कैंडिडेट्स के लिए सरकारी नौकरी के तौर पर अधिकारी बनने के सुनहरा अवसर निकाला है। सरकारी नौकरी करने के इच्छुक युवा इस भर्ती के जरिये अपने सपनों को साकार कर सकते हैं। उत्तर प्रदेश अधीनस्थ कर्मचारी सेवा चयन आयोग द्वारा भर्ती के लिए विज्ञप्ति जारी की है। UP Govt Jobs 2019 में कुल 672 पदों के लिए ऑनलाइन आवेदन आधिकारिक वेबसाइट upsssc.gov.in से कर सकते हैं।
UPSSSC द्वारा जारी भर्ती में आवेदन करने से पहले अभ्यर्थी आधिकारिक नोटिफिकेशन को ध्यानपूर्वक जरूर पढ़ें। जरुरी योग्यता और पात्रता वाले अभ्यर्थी ही आवेदन के पात्र होंगे। आवदेन फॉर्म भरने से पहले सभी शैक्षणिक दस्तावेजों को स्कैन जरूर कर लेवें।
UP Govt Jobs 2019 की आधिकारिक नोटिफिकेशन के लिए यहां क्लिक करें
UPSSSC Recruitment 2019 ऑनलाइन आवेदन करने के लिए यहां क्लिक करें
UPSSSC द्वारा सहायक चकबंदी अधिकारी / सहायक सुधार अधिकारी, विपणन निरीक्षक, मार्केटिंग निरीक्षक सहित अन्य रिक्तियों के लिए उम्मीदवारों से नियत तिथि तक ऑनलाइन आवेदन मांगे गए हैं। अभ्यर्थी आधिकारिक वेबसाइट पर सभी विवरणों और पात्रता मानदंडों को पूरा कर सकते हैं। उक्त पदों के लिए ऑनलाइन आवेदन 30 जनवरी, 2019 से शुरू हो गई है। आवेदन पत्र UPSSSC की आधिकारिक वेबसाइट पर भरे जाएंगे। आवेदन शुल्क भुगतान जमा करने की अंतिम तिथि 19 फरवरी, 2019 रखी गई है। उम्मीदवार अपने आवेदन पत्रों में 26 फरवरी, 2019 तक त्रुटि सुधार कर सकेंगे।
UPSSSC Recruitment 2019: महत्वपूर्ण तिथियां
आवेदन शुरू होने की तिथि : 30 जनवरी 2019
आवेदन और शुल्क भुगतान की अंतिम तिथि : 19 फरवरी 2019
आवेदन पत्र में सुधार की अंतिम तिथि : 26 फरवरी 2019
आवेदन शुल्क
सामान्य और अन्य पिछड़ा वर्ग के अभ्यर्थियों के लिए 225 रूपए
SC/ ST: 105 रूपए
Pwd: 25 रूपए
पदों का विवरण
UPSSSC Asst Consolidation Officer/
UPSSSC Asst Rectification Officer – 94 Post
UPSSSC Supply Inspector – 151 Post
UPSSSC Marketing Inspector -194 Post
UPSSSC Asst Garden Inspector -89 Post
UPSSSC Additional District Information Officer-11 Post
UPSSSC Executive Officer -107 Post
UPSSSC Revenue Officer -26 Post
from Patrika : India's Leading Hindi News Portal http://bit.ly/2RXkPQE
RPSC सहित इन विभागों में निकली सरकारी भर्तियां, जल्दी करें अप्लाई
ओडि़शा पब्लिक सर्विस कमीशन (OPSC) ने हाल ही ओडि़शा मेडिकल एंड हैल्थ सर्विसेज कैडर के तहत मेडिकल ऑफिसर (असिस्टेंट सर्जन) (ग्रुप-ए, जूनियर ब्रांच) के कुल 1950 पदों पर भर्ती के लिए नोटिफिकेशन जारी कर आवेदन आमंत्रित किए हैं। पदों की संख्या आरक्षित वर्गों के अनुसार बांटी गई है। अभ्यर्थी ऑनलाइन माध्यम से आवेदन प्रक्रिया को पूरा कर सकते हैं। आवेदक की उम्र 21 से 32 वर्ष के बीच होनी चाहिए। आयु सीमा की गणना 01 जनवरी, 2019 के अनुसार होगी। आरक्षित वर्गों को आयु सीमा और आवेदन शुल्क में छूट का प्रावधान दिया जाएगा।
आवेदन की अंतिम तिथि : 31 जनवरी, 2019
योग्यता : मेडिकल काउंसिल ऑफ इंडिया द्वारा मान्यता प्राप्त मेडिकल कॉलेज या इंस्टीट्यूट से एमबीबीएस डिग्री या समकक्ष योग्यता प्राप्त हो। इसके अलावा ओडि़शा मेडिकल रूल्स के तहत वेलिड रजिस्ट्रेशन सर्टिफिकेट प्राप्त होना जरूरी है।
चयन प्रक्रिया : लिखित परीक्षा में प्राप्त मेरिट अंकों के आधार पर अभ्यर्थी को चुना जाएगा।
नोटिफिकेशन देखने के लिए यहां जाएं : http://www.opsc.gov.in/Admin/RecrAttachments/181819.pdf
अधिक जानकारी के लिए देखें : http://www.opsc.gov.in/
ओडि़शा पब्लिक सर्विस कमीशन (OPSC) सहित इन दिनों कई सरकारी विभागों में सरकारी नौकरियों हेतु आवेदन करने हेतु नोटिफिकेशन जारी किए गए हैं। आप भी इन नौकरियों के लिए अप्लाई कर सकते हैं। जानिए ऐसी ही कुछ भर्तियों की डिटेल्स के बारे में...
राजस्थान कर्मचारी चयन बोर्ड, जयपुर
पद : इंवेस्टिगेटर (62 पद)
आवेदन की अंतिम तिथि : 23 फरवरी, 2019
भारतीय विज्ञान शिक्षा एवं अनुसंधान संस्थान, पुणे
पद : लैबोरेट्री मैनेजर, टेक्नीकल एसोसिएट व अन्य (05 पद)
आवेदन की अंतिम तिथि : 10 फरवरी, 2019
नेशनल सीड्स कॉर्पोरेशन लिमिटेड, नई दिल्ली
पद : डिप्टी जनरल मैनेजर, असिस्टेंट, मैनेजमेंट ट्रेनी, सीनियर ट्रेनी, डिप्लोमा ट्रेनी, टे्रनी व अन्य पद (260 पद)
आवेदन की अंतिम तिथि : 09 फरवरी, 2019
राष्ट्रीय इस्पात निगम लिमिटेड, विशाखापत्तनम
पद : मैनेजमेंट ट्रेनी (टेक्नीकल) (324 पद)
आवेदन की अंतिम तिथि : 20 फरवरी, 2019
आइसीएमआर- नेशनल एड्स रिसर्च इंस्टीट्यूट, पुणे
पद : सीनियर इंवेस्टीगेटर, फील्ड असिस्टेंट, रिसर्च असिस्टेंट (ट्रांसलेटर और डाटा एनालिस्ट) (12 पद)
वॉक इन इंटरव्यू की तिथि : 31 जनवरी और 01 फरवरी, 2019
रेलवे रिक्रूटमेंट बोर्ड
पद : जूनियर इंजीनियर, डिपो मैटीरियल सुप्रिंटेंडेंट, केमिकल एंड मैटलर्जिकल असिस्टेंट (13487 पद)
आवेदन की अंतिम तिथि : 31 जनवरी, 2019
दिल्ली यूनिवर्सिटी (स्कूल ऑफ ओपन लर्निंग)
पद : मिडिल लेवल कंसल्टेंट, डाटा एनालिस्ट, जूनियर कंसल्टेंट, नेटवर्क एनालिस्ट ट्रेनी व अन्य (09 पद)
आवेदन की अंतिम तिथि : 08 फरवरी, 2019
from Patrika : India's Leading Hindi News Portal http://bit.ly/2UskjXk
my coworkers trash-talk me in a secret group chat, keeping unvaccinated kids out of our office, and more
It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…
1. My bosses and coworkers have a secret group chat where they trash-talk me
A few months ago, I started a new job in a very small office (only three employees, plus a few interns). I had some trouble acclimating because the environment was so different from my last job. But as far as I knew, I was doing fine.
About a month in, I walked past my coworker’s desk (we have an open office) and saw my name pop up on her Slack. It ended up being a groupchat that the entire office was in — including supervisors — except for me. One of my supervisors was recounting a disciplinary conversation he had had with me. (I was using my cellphone at my desk too much; I apologized and said it was very common at my previous job, but that I would stop. For the record, I did stop.)
After that, I started feeling like everyone in the office disliked me. I couldn’t stop getting anxious, and there were multiple times that I’d walk past someone’s computer and see my name pop up in that same groupchat. I know I should have stopped looking. I don’t have an excuse as to why I didn’t. I could say that my bosses were communicating with everyone except for me about my shortcomings, but still, I should have kept my eyes on my own paper.
Eventually, I saw my boss tell a coworker that they were planning on firing me, so I put in my two weeks’ notice, citing my poor performance in the position (which is valid, to be honest). When I did that, the two aforementioned bosses told me that I was a fine worker and I hadn’t been underperforming at all. One of them said, “Are you committed to quitting?” I said yes.
Everyone was super nice about it, to the extent that I wondered if I had imagined the past two months of gossip and plans to fire me. To be fair, I am very easy to gaslight. Not that I was being gaslit in this situation — it’s just easy to convince me I’m wrong in my perception of anything. Anyway, once again, I saw the following exchange in the groupchat while my coworker talked to me about something: “She said she’s COMMITTED to quitting” “Feels good to get a monkey off your back” “She’s so skinny”
How do I deal with the next week and a half at this job? I can’t really listen to music or podcasts or anything. I already have clinically-diagnosed anxiety and I can’t stop myself from catastrophizing everything that happens at work. I take a lot of bathroom breaks for the specific purpose of panicking. I’m so scared of seeing them say something else about me — or misrepresent something I said — but I’m even more scared of missing out on what they say. Would it be reasonable to cut my two weeks short? Should I confront someone about what I saw? This is taking a huge toll on my mental health.
Since you’ve only been there a few months, there’s no real benefit to including this job on your resume — and if you leave it off, you don’t need to worry about them being called as a reference. That means that you can walk out of there today if you want to, and as you do so, feel free to say, “I saw the group chat you’ve been having about me, and it sounds like you’d prefer that I leave today, so I’m going to pack up now. Best of luck to you.”
The reason they’re being nice to your face while trash-talking you behind your back is that they’re horrible people, but being nice to your face lets them believe they’re not being mean.
2. Keeping unvaccinated kids out of our office
I have a coworker who opted out of vaccinations for her three children. I live in an area currently experiencing a measels outbreak. A state of emergency has been declared by the governor over it. I am vaccinated and don’t have kids of my own. However, several of my other coworkers have kids as young as 4 weeks. Tbe antivax coworker brings their kids in from time to time, which brings me to my question. Is it even possible to ask my coworker to keep their adorable infectious disease vectors away from the office, for the sake of the kids too young to be vaccinated? I work for a state agency, for what it’s worth.
I can’t speak to how being at a state agency might impact this, but generally speaking, your employer can absolutely require that unvaccinated kids be kept out of your office. And you or your coworkers can make that request as well — it just won’t have the teeth that it’ll have coming from your employer, so if you can get it made official, that’s your better option. (Anyone want to weigh in via the comments on how being a public agency might affect things?)
3. My office is hosting a whisky tasting, and I’m a recovering alcoholic
I’m a young professional working in the finance industry, and I’m also a recovering alcoholic with two years sober. I recently transferred to a new location for my firm. Much of my industry’s culture centers on alcohol, even more so in my new city, and for the most part this is fine. I’m confident enough in my sobriety that I have no problem attending open bars and drinking Diet Coke all night—I even went on a freaking office booze cruise and didn’t drink. Most of my coworkers don’t even notice. It’s not my favorite way to spend an evening, but I know I’m the abnormal one here and I don’t expect others to not do something they enjoy for my sake.
But at this new location, there’s a big networking event every year with people from across the industry. This event is a very big deal at the firm, and while attendance isn’t strictly mandatory, it’s expected. This year, the event is a whisky tasting with an open bar afterward. There’s a line for me, and this is it. If I just preferred not to drink (which is what I’ve told the few coworkers who have noticed my teetotaling), I could presumably still do a tasting, but I really can’t even swirl alcohol in my mouth. How can I excuse myself from this thing without raising more questions and attention?
Three basic options: have a conflict with that date, be sick that day, or let your boss know why you’re not attending. Which of those to pick depends on how much your boss would care if you’re not there, and how comfortable you’d be (or not be) letting her know you’re not up for such an alcohol-centric event.
The advantage to letting your boss know is that it’ll cover you if something similar comes up again (plus it might nudge your office into realizing this event will leave people out — not just recovering alcoholics, but people who don’t drink for other reasons too — and perhaps they’ll factor that into future plans). And being a recovering alcoholic who’s sober isn’t terribly stigmatizing, at least not around reasonably savvy adults. But if your’e not comfortable doing that, you’ve got those other two options too.
4. My boss makes working overtime sound like a favor to me
Over the last year, my boss has developed a really annoying habit and I’m not sure if I can say or do anything about it. We work in an underfunded, understaffed department, so there is always overtime hours/days available. It’s never forced on anyone, instead relying on a volunteer system.
However, whenever my boss asks me if I can work extra days, he frames it as doing me a favor! For example, last time he asked, it was something like, “Hey, you can get extra hours on (date) if you’d like! I’m asking you first so you don’t miss out.” (That isn’t true. The policy is people with part-time hours are offered extra days first. I’m full-time.) He hasn’t always done this. Before it was more “We’re short people and there’s a lot going on. Can you work?”
I luckily don’t need the overtime pay and working six-plus days in a row is more stress than it’s worth. Plus I’m already suffering from burn-out (taking some time off soon to help with that.) I wouldn’t mind helping my coworkers or department out every once in a while, if he worded it differently and was more honest. Am I being too rigid and is there any way to talk to him about this?
Well, you might be taking the wording too literally. It’s possible that other people have indicated they are grateful to be offered the hours, and so he figures everyone is. Or who knows, maybe he’s trying to manipulate you into saying yes.
I think you’re fine continuing to turn down the overtime if you want to. But if you’d rather ensure you know when the request is more dire, you could say, “No thanks — sounds like you have other people who might want to do it, but if you’re ever in a situation where you can’t get anyone and you really need people to help out, let me know.” Or even, “Just so you know, I’ll usually turn down overtime offers since I mostly prefer sticking to my regular schedule, but if you ever really need people to help out, let me know.”
my coworkers trash-talk me in a secret group chat, keeping unvaccinated kids out of our office, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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my boyfriend thinks only bad candidates prepare for interviews
A reader writes:
I (24F) graduated from college two years ago and was lucky enough to fairly quickly find a job in my field. I’m currently still working there, while also attending graduate school part-time. My boyfriend (26M) is currently in his last year of college and has started looking for his first post-college job in his field (tech).
Last week he was invited to several interviews at different companies in his field in our area. A few days before the first interview, I asked him how his interview preparations were going and indicated that if he needed someone to bounce his thoughts off, I’d be happy to help. At this, he scoffed and said “Why would I be preparing for my interviews? People don’t do that, at least not unless you’re not really qualified and are trying to think of ways to make yourself look better than you really are … I’ve never prepared for an interview in my life and I’ve never applied for a job I didn’t get!” (For context, all of his previous jobs have been part-time jobs in retail or food service). I disagree pretty strongly with the idea that only bad candidates need to prepare for interviews, but I didn’t feel it was my place to push so I gave a few brief suggestions on how I generally prepare for interviews and left it at that.
Well, now he’s had all of the interviews he had scheduled and has received rejections from all of them. He says they all went terribly and that he was embarrassed about them, but doesn’t seem to think his lack of preparation played any part. By no means do I consider myself to be an interview or job searching pro, but I do feel like I could help him find some resources (such as your free guide on how to prepare for an interview!) that would give him a better idea of how candidates should prepare for professional interviews, help him improve his interview skills in general, and overall help him become a better candidate.
How can I point him in the right direction in a way that comes across as helpful and supportive instead of seeming like I think I’m better than him or am saying “I told you so”? Is that possible, or am I better off continuing to leave it alone and let him figure it out for himself?
Oh dear.
Does your boyfriend have a pattern of thinking he knows best even in areas where he’s inexperienced and of ignoring evidence to the contrary? Or does he just have a weird blind spot about job searching? I know you’re not asking me for relationship advice, but if it’s the former, that can be really rough to live with long-term. On the other hand, he’s also right around the age where life tends to knock a lot of humility into people, if they pay attention. (Maybe a bit past it, actually, but not outrageously so.)
The thing that concerns me the most isn’t that he believes no one prepares for job interviews — that’s a weird thing to think, but people think all sorts of weird things when they’re new to the professional world. What worries me is that after bombing the interviews, he still doesn’t think preparation might help next time. That’s an odd digging-in of the heels, especially when someone he likes and respects (you) is making a rational argument for a different approach, and I wonder what’s behind it. Does he think he knows best and hate being wrong? Is he conflicted about moving into professional jobs or afraid of failure, and so he’s self-sabotaging?
If your question is really just how and whether you can point him in the right direction while still being supportive … I do think you can do that in general, but might not be able to do it with him specifically, depending on what’s behind this. The approach I’d take is to lay out what you’re seeing — not just “hey, preparing for interviews helps and is actually a thing you’re expected to do,” but “the way you’re approaching this is surprising to me, seems like self-sabotage, and I wonder what’s going on.” It’s a more intimate conversation, and it’s probably the one that would help both of you the most.
Beyond that, you could show him articles like this and this, which make the point that preparing for an interview is both normal and smart. (There’s also my free guide to preparing for a job interview if you do manage to convince him.) And you could ask if he’d be willing to try an experiment and prepare for just one interview this way, and then decide for himself afterwards if it was worth doing or not.
But if he’s not open to that, then you’re at the limits of what you can do as a concerned partner, and it’s up to him to figure it out from there.
my boyfriend thinks only bad candidates prepare for interviews was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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how can I be a good manager?
A reader writes:
Long story short, I finished grad school about two years ago and started a company with a colleague. It has evolved into something much bigger and better than either of us anticipated. We now have three full time staff – another statistician (like us), a software developer, and an office/operations manager. We also have some part-time contractors.
I’m 32 and besides being a maid during university and various academic research/teaching positions, I’ve never had a ‘real’ job. Now all of a sudden, I’m a manager in the private sector, and I live in perpetual fear of being a horrible one. My co-founder and I have great communication (she has a background in psychology and we’ve both been through lots of therapy!) so we like to talk about our feelings. But I have been really struggling with how to best communicate with and support our staff. I’m not used to the boss/employee dynamic. My primary concerns are:
(1) Finding the right balance of casual, fun startup vibes but also making sure I command enough respect that people understand I have the final say.
(2) Identifying my weaknesses/flaws that I might be entirely oblivious to. It’s hard to get honest feedback from such a small team, and I’m not sure how to best solicit it.
Short of going back in time and getting some work experience before accidentally starting a company, how can I learn to be a solid, effective manager now?
how can I be a good manager? was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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my new job doesn’t give raises — ever
A reader writes:
I recently accepted my dream job. I’ve since learned that the company does not give out raises. They offer a small, variable, annual bonus depending on company performance instead of cost of living adjustments or merit raises.
I am getting by on my current salary in Expensive City for now and hadn’t planned to ask for a raise for at least a year. But I worry that I hamstrung myself by not negotiating for more initially. I’m happy in my position but have no growth opportunities aside from lateral transfers, which don’t interest me because I like my work and love my team. I realize my best option may be to negotiate for other perks.. But I already enjoy ample PTO and a generous work-from-home policy. I might sound like an entitled millennial, but I have medical bills and student loans … I could definitely use a little more cash!
I am tracking my accomplishments, owning my development, and brainstorming extra projects to show my increased value for an eventual conversation around my salary with my boss. Is there anything else I can do in this situation aside from get a side gig, move to the suburbs to save money, or look for another job? More broadly – am I naive for expecting my wages to grow with my value, or is the elimination of raises and COL adjustments just the reality of employment in 2019?
No, it’s not the reality of employment. Your dream job is not in fact a dream job, because your company suuucccks.
Here’s what not giving out merit raises means:
* As your contributions to the company increase, you won’t be compensated accordingly. When you’ve been in your job for a few years, they’re going to be paying you for the value you brought to the job in your first few months.
* If everyone in roles similar to yours starts at roughly the same salary and stays at that salary, you’re going to be paid the same as the slacker on your team who barely scrapes by.
* Unlike with raises, which become a fixed part of your salary, your company can decide at any time not to do those “small, variable, annual bonuses.”
* When you look for a new job, if you encounter a company that pegs their offer to your existing salary (which is BS, but still really common), you’ll be at a huge disadvantage because your salary will be out of date for your value.
* Most importantly, your company so devalues its employees’ contributions that it doesn’t think your value increases over time and doesn’t think it needs to pay you for that.
Here’s what not giving out cost-of-living raises means:
* Your salary is going to decrease in real dollars every year. You’ll have less buying power in three years than you have now. Not only will your company not reward you for performing at a higher level, they’re actually financially penalizing you.
You are not naive, and you are not an entitled millennial. And please toss that phrase, even when you’re using it ironically or to self-deprecate. Y’all were never entitled, and let’s not play into that narrative.
But if you otherwise like the job (and give it some time before you decide that!), there’s nothing wrong with staying a couple of years. You wouldn’t expect a raise during your first year anyway, and an additional year without an increase isn’t outrageous. But after two years, I’d plan to start looking for a company that doesn’t devalue employees this way.
my new job doesn’t give raises — ever was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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we’re supposed to stay late “out of courtesy,” should I send employers a lottery ticket with my resume, and more
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. We’re supposed to stay late “out of courtesy” to other coworkers
I’ve been at my job six months. It’s in an industry I’ve been in for 18 years and where I’ve always worked hard, earned praise for my skills, and shown a cooperative spirit. I’ve never been reprimanded for not being a “team player” but at this job there is an unwritten rule of “you stay until everyone can leave even if you’re done with all your tasks.” An employee who’s been there a few years called it the pack mentality. She doesn’t agree with it but stays because she feels obligated. I can’t wrap my head around it. I feel like because this is a smaller team of younger employees, they’ve been indoctrinated into this mentality and it’s not healthy, but I’m new and am hesitant to make a stink about what I feel is unfair. I am not talking about not wanting to stay and help when there’s something I can truly do to get everyone out in a timely manner, I’m talking about being told to hang back because it would be obvious I’m leaving when the others aren’t.
Usually I sit there wondering what I should do, then after a few minutes of wasting time, I’ll leave. But one evening last week I was done and packing up, and I messaged my boss to ask if there was anything I could help with. She said no, but asked if I could stay maybe 10-20 minutes longer because it would be obvious if I left since the others couldn’t. I went into her office to sort of debate the request because I really needed to go home, but she got a phone call and waved me off after I motioned to her I needed to go. She didn’t mention anything the next day and I didn’t either.
I guess I feel strongly about it because I am the only one in the building who has kids and I switch places with my husband the moment I get home from work because he works nights. The sooner I can relieve him of the dad duties to rest, the better. If I’m wrong in feeling this is unfair and strange, I want to know so I can readjust my thinking.
Nope, you’re not wrong. Your coworkers should be capable of understanding that people might leave at different times depending on their workload that day. (And it’s likely they do understand that just fine, and this is solely your manager’s issue.) Plus, people are generally more cheerful about occasionally having to stay late when they’re not required to do it for no reason. This is a misuse of your time and a ridiculous practice.
I’d say this to your boss: “I can of course stay late on occasion when my workload requires it, but I have child care responsibilities at home and can’t stay late just because others aren’t ready to leave yet. So unless there’s something that specifically requires work from me — which, again, I’ll be happy to take care of — I’ll need to leave in the evening once my work for the day is done. I wanted to let you know since my sense is that might be a deviation from what others do.”
2. Should I send employers a lottery ticket with my resume?
I have been job hunting for a while now without much success. I’m looking for creative ways to get noticed by employers, and I had the idea to send my resume along with a lottery ticket and the message “Take a chance on meeting me!” My thinking is that it’s a cute way to stand out and some hiring managers might be intrigued enough to call me for an interview. Do you see any downsides to this?
Nooooo, do not do this. It’s really gimmicky, and it’ll look like you don’t trust your qualifications to merit an interview on their own (or understand why people get hired). It’s so gimmicky, in fact, that if I would have called you for an interview without the lottery ticket, this would make me hesitate to do it, both because the gimmick would raise questions about your judgment and understanding of professional norms and because I’d have qualms about reinforcing whatever thought process led to this.
The way you stand out to employers is by being a highly qualified candidate with a resume that shows a track record of achievement and writing a compelling, personalized cover letter. I know that’s frustrating — how will you stand out if other people have those things too, after all? — but that’s the only way to do it, at least if you want to screen for good employers who hire competently.
3. I’ve overheard my coworkers badmouthing my religion
I work for a small, friendly company with about 35 employees. Our office space is composed of several large, shared offices. Most people keep their doors open except for when taking calls or discussing more confidential issues. This, combined with the fact that sound really carries because of the way the offices are arranged, means that from time to time, I can hear the conversation going on in the office next to mine. I’m not bothered by this, because I can just put in headphones if it’s distracting me.
However, on two separate occasions now, I’ve overheard my coworkers discussing my religion in not-so-positive terms. It was nothing horrendous or cruel, but it was in a tone of mocking, and they were presenting things about the religion as fact that aren’t true and are common misconceptions and misunderstandings. I’m a fairly private person, and while I don’t make efforts to hide my religion, I’m also not really comfortable talking about it at work, so I don’t think most of my coworkers know about my religious preferences. I was really uncomfortable listening to them talk, so both times I just turned up my music and tried to tune it out. Is there anything I could have done differently? If I had been part of the conversation, I would have been more comfortable saying, “Hey, I’m actually a part of that religious group” to put a stop to it, but sending them an email that says, “Hey, I can hear you talking about my religion from my office and….” feels awkward and out of line.
Yeah, I wouldn’t do it in an email — that’s actually going to make it more awkward than it needs to be. Instead, if it happens again, just stick your head in the office they’re in and say, “Hey, would you mind keeping that out of the office? I belong to the group you’re talking about, and it’s pretty uncomfortable to overhear this conversation.”
Alternately, if you’d rather not share that you’re a member of the religion being discussed (which you certainly don’t need to), you could say, “You probably don’t realize that your conversation can be heard through the walls, so I wanted to give you a heads-up that it can. It’s a pretty uncomfortable conversation to overhear, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t have it here.”
4. Employer told me I was their second choice before offering me the job
Thanks to all your advice, I have just landed myself an amazing job! It’s a huge step up both regarding responsibilities and pay and I was convinced after the second interview that I didn’t get it. In fact, they specifically told me at the end of the interview that they were looking for someone with a background in, let’s say, teapot designing, which I don’t have.
Fast forward to a couple of days ago and I get a call from the HR guy who conducted my first interview. He apologized for taking so long to get back to me and told me it was because one of the other applicants had the teapot design background they wanted and they offered the job to her. However, she was also in the running for another job with the organization so she ended up taking that one, meaning they were offering me the original position.
It doesn’t bother me at all that I wasn’t the first choice but it feels a bit icky that the HR guy told me BEFORE the offer. Since the other candidate will be working there, I’m sure I would have found out quickly anyway, but the way it went down feels weird to me and everyone I’ve told is shocked, especially since the guy who told me works in HR. And while I was really happy with the salary they offered, if it had been too low and I wanted to negotiate, I felt that him telling me I was the second choice took away my power ask for more. Is it as weird as I think or was the HR guy being entirely reasonable by telling me what was going on?
I suspect he told you in order to explain why they were offering it to you despite having said they wanted a specific background you don’t have. He didn’t need to mention it, of course, but I don’t think it’s horribly problematic that he did. (It’s definitely not shocking! — that’s an extreme reaction from the people you’ve told.)
It’s unlikely that it was a strategy to lower your negotiating power. He just shared information without fully realizing how it might land with you (and lots of candidates want more info in the hiring process). But it’s not especially outrageous, and I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
It’s an amazing job with a salary you’re happy with. That’s much more important!
5. I don’t understand why my contract is ending
I am currently a contract worker at a very big corporation, and back when I was hired they told me they wanted it to be contract-to-hire, but now, supposedly due to budget reasons, my contract is ending soon. However, the circumstances around it are baffling me.
They told me they want someone more “senior” in my role to take on very niche tasks that another former employee took on, even though I was already trained by said employee and completing these tasks. I was also told my performance was very good and not the reason they weren’t extending me. I saw a job posting for my role that has my exact job duties on it from them, and nothing suggested it would be more senior work than what I was already doing. It’s worth noting I do have senior level experience in my role (7+ years). Everyone I’ve also spoken with about it at work besides my bosses are shocked and upset I’m leaving.
It doesn’t make sense to me, honestly. Am I being let go because I was hoping for a permanent position? I asked if there was anything I could do to stay and they said no. It’s a shame, because I really liked my work and the people I worked with. Just wondering if you had any insight to why this might have happened.
It’s impossible to say from the outside without a lot more information, but it’s unlikely they’d end your contract simply because you were hoping for a permanent position. It’s possible that it really is exactly what they’re telling you — they want someone more senior than you are, which doesn’t just mean number of years of experience but also can describe things like more seasoned judgment, more nuanced ability to deal with higher-ups, etc. Or it could be that they weren’t thrilled with some aspect of your work and didn’t have the fortitude to talk to you about it — which could be because they’re wimps about giving feedback or because the issue is hard/awkward to articulate (which isn’t an excuse not to do it, but that happens).
Keep in mind this can always happen with contract-to-hire positions. The whole point of contract-to-hire is that they’re not committing to hiring you yet and can easily decide after trying things out that it’s not quite what they want, which ultimately seems to be what happened here.
we’re supposed to stay late “out of courtesy,” should I send employers a lottery ticket with my resume, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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my boss accidentally sent me a message complaining about me
A reader writes:
I’ve been working for a small firm for the past two years. The atmosphere is very friendly and casual and the hours are flexible. My boss (let’s call her Diane) has said in the past that it’s fine to come in earlier or later as long as the work gets done. Most people work 9-5, but for the past several months I have been doing 9:30-5:30 most days.
A couple of days ago, I received a message from Diane on our internal messaging platform that said (paraphrased): “Don’t you think Alice should try to arrive on time in the morning? Even if they don’t have set times, Jane is always at her desk by 9.”
I’m Alice and Jane is my colleague who always works 9-5. I believe this message was meant for the firm’s other boss, whom I do not directly report to, but Diane typed it in a hurry and sent it to me by mistake. It would not be out of character for her.
Aside from the embarrassment of receiving a message meant for someone else, and a message reprimanding me to boot, I am very upset and annoyed by the implication that I have been slacking off when for the past week I’ve been staying late (usually until 6 or 6:30) sometimes even locking up after everyone else is gone. I work alone most of the time (so it’s not a matter of being on a team where everyone needs to be present). I am not late if there are morning meetings, and my projects are on track.
At first I didn’t know how to respond to the message, so I just ignored it. Diane hasn’t said anything about it to me. For the past two days, I have arrived at 9 and left at 5. I should talk to Diane but I hate confrontation and I hate the idea of comparing my schedule to my coworkers’. Up until two days ago, I really wasn’t thinking about office hours and I didn’t think I was “staying late” or “arriving late.” I was simply putting in the hours I needed to complete my tasks. Now my productivity is down the drain and I’m feeling demoralized.
I thought I could say something like, “I was under the impression that you were okay with me arriving later because I always made up for it, but if you prefer I will arrive at 9 like the others. Of course that means I will leave at 5 like the others instead of staying late.” But I don’t want to sound passive-aggressive or like I’m bragging that I worked more hours than Jane and the others who are all great coworkers.
Should I mention the message or not? The longer I wait, the more awkward it would be to bring it up. Should I stress the fact that I have worked (unpaid, willing) overtime last week, in case Diane somehow forgot? Have I crossed some invisible boundary by taking too much advantage of our “flexible” hours? Am I making too big a deal out of this? Some perspective would be really appreciated.
It’s weird that Diane has said in the past that it’s fine to come in earlier or later as long as the work gets done, but now is criticizing you for moving your schedule forward by half an hour. So who knows, maybe she didn’t mean it when she said it. Maybe she thought it sounded good but she doesn’t actually believe it, and now that’s coming out. Or maybe she meant something far more limited — like that she doesn’t care if you’re a few minutes late, or that it’s fine to come in at 9:30 occasionally but not to make it your regular schedule. Or maybe she’s changed her mind and doesn’t realize she didn’t tell people that. Who knows!
On the other hand, she acknowledged in the message that you and your coworkers don’t have a set time of arrival! Saying “don’t you think Alice should try to arrive on time” while in the very next sentence saying “even though they don’t have set times” is … a particularly impressive failure of logic.
In any case, there’s a real benefit to getting her unvarnished thoughts on the matter, even though they weren’t intended for you, since now you have a window into how she really thinks. She’s obviously not the clearest communicator (or even thinker?), at least not on this matter, so in a twisted way it might be good that it happened — since even if she’s being unfair and unclear, it’s useful to you to know how she really sees your schedule, so that you can decide if you want to do anything differently.
As for how to handle it with her … The best thing would have been to address it with her the day you received the message. You could have gone to her office and said, “I’m not sure if you meant to send that message about my time of arrival to me or to someone else, but I wanted to ask you about it because my understanding was that we don’t actually have set times of arrival, and that it was fine for us to come in earlier or later as long as our work is getting done. That’s why I’ve been working 9:30-5:30 much of the time. Should I not be doing that? This is the first indication I’m getting that it might be a problem, and I wanted to check with you directly to clear it up.”
(Frankly, you also could have pretended that you missed that the message wasn’t for you — perhaps you thought she was addressing you in the third person, like a small child — and just replied to it with, “Oh! I had thought we had flexibility with our hours and it was okay to shift our schedules forward or back a bit. Did I get that totally wrong?”)
Of course, you don’t have a time machine so that doesn’t help you now. But you can still do a version of the first approach; you just need to change the lead-in to something like, “You sent me a message a few days ago that I think might not have been intended for me, but where you expressed concern about my time of arrival.”
There’s a pretty good chance that Diane has already figured out that she misdirected the message, because if at some point she wondered why the intended recipient hadn’t responded to her, she might have gone back to look at it, realized what happened, and then felt the Burning Shame of Misdirected Messages. If so, it’s ridiculous that she hasn’t addressed it with you (and it’s also further evidence that she’s not a great communicator), but ignoring something uncomfortable isn’t an uncommon way of dealing with embarrassing events.
Anyway, the guiding principles I’d use here are (a) appreciation that you got an unfiltered look at what she really thinks, annoying as it is and (b) a willingness to push through the awkwardness and just address it head-on now that you know, and see what you can work out.
my boss accidentally sent me a message complaining about me was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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my problem employee is telling coworkers I’m unfair to her
A reader writes:
Is there anything I can do to stop a resentful employee from complaining behind my back?
Here’s the situation. I have an employee, Sally, who was moved to my team around six months ago. While I didn’t arrange for the transfer, I thought at the time that it was a good thing: Sally and I were friendly, and for months I’d heard her tales of woe about her bad managers. They were treating her unfairly, she said, and gave her unclear feedback and set unreasonably demanding expectations.
Her role in my team has fewer responsibilities. I thought that with some coaching, she would be able to rise to the demands of this position. I have given her clear feedback on her work, pointing out repeat problems. I have set clear expectations, gone over these with Sally several times and put them in writing. I have run workshops and coaching sessions that sought to address some of the issues with her work. And yet Sally’s work is very poor, requiring several rounds of corrections; she hasn’t shown any of the growth I need to see for her to meet the expectations of the role. On top of that, she responds to feedback poorly – she sulks or snaps or tunes you out entirely. She has been moved onto a performance improvement plan, which is a requirement in my company – otherwise I believe the best thing would be to let her go sooner rather than later.
In the meantime, Sally is telling colleagues that she is being treated unfairly, that other people have been given chances and opportunities that she hasn’t been given, that the standards being set are “subjective.” I know she is convincing – because I was fooled myself in the past, and because a number of my coworkers have come to me, saying “Sally says she’s trying really hard” or “Sally says she’s being held to different standards.” Of course, these people don’t have the full picture, because much of the situation is confidential – I can’t go around saying “well actually, she’s a fundamentally poor fit for the role and has had lots of hand-holding.” Some of these people are employees who I manage.
Is there anything I can do to ensure my colleagues and team members don’t think I’m treating her unfairly? Is there anything I can do to stop Sally from this unhelpful behavior?
You can read my answer to this letter at New York Magazine today. Head over there to read it.
my problem employee is telling coworkers I’m unfair to her was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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I work from home and my coworker wants me available 24/7
A reader writes:
I work at a small company with about 10 employees. Because it is such a small team, and most people have been there for a long time (10+ years for most), it is a very relaxed environment — and unfortunately, this has bred some bad habits and toxicity into the culture. Nothing especially groundbreaking, and for the most part it was being ignored since most of the negativity was coming from one source — our main admin, Karen.
This fall, an opportunity opened up for me to work exclusively from home, due to the nature of my particular position, and I jumped on it. I go into into the main office about twice a month, and for the most part, it’s been a dream. I am vastly more productive, work hard to ensure that I maintain good work-from-home habits, and have found that my mental health has improved drastically.
Since the transition, I have done everything I can think of to set clear expectations as far as when I am available. I have specific, set hours when they can expect me to be at my desk. I use Google Hangouts’ away messages to say if I’m up from my desk for a quick break to stretch my legs, use the bathroom, etc. (with a time I’ll be back). I also always have my personal cell on me in case it’s a (rare) emergency.
I do most of my communication with clients and our team via email, but I do have a VOIP phone that dials out with the main office number, and I can be inter-office paged via this phone as well.
Almost the whole team is great with this arrangement, with one exception: Karen cannot seem to respect these boundaries. She’ll page me outside of my work hours, or regardless of whether I have an away message set, and if I don’t get to my phone fast enough (I can hear it elsewhere in the house), she’ll call my cell — usually for a very simple question that could have waited, or could have been an email. If I point out that I set an away message, she’ll say, “Sorry, I didn’t see it.” I have even paged her and told her I’ll be unavailable for an hour, and she’ll agree pleasantly, and then turn around and page me 15 minutes later, followed by the usual call to my cell if I don’t pick up. I will also often come back to see that she’s IM’d me in an effort to get my attention, as well.
When I politely point out that I had set an away message/was away for a short time/this question could have been an email/etc., Karen will often reply with, “Well, I didn’t think it was a big deal since you’re already there!”
My position does have a certain degree of needing to be on-call — if certain things happen with my projects at any time of day, I do need to act — but Karen’s questions are rarely about that so much as spellchecking and nitpicking coworkers’ work, which is another problem she has and one of the chief reasons I leaped at this opportunity to keep my job but not work in that office.
I should note that working from home is a perk offered to everyone as an as-needed thing, and there is one other employee who works from home full-time. I asked him, and he says that he has not experienced this level of intrusion at all, and then when he says he’s busy, Karen leaves him alone — no away messages needed. Meanwhile, when I say I’m busy, Karen says, “Oh, I knowwww, we all are,” and continues with her question/behavior.
What can I do differently to enforce these boundaries? I have stopped running to the phone if I’ve communicated that I’m away and I hear a page or IM, but that doesn’t stop the inevitable tide of calls and texts to my cell phone, or sometimes she’ll just page and page and page until I get sick of hearing it and answer, even though I’m taking a break. I pride myself on being just as available now as if I were in the main office, but at this point, I’m being forced into being much more “available” at home than I ever was when I worked in that building.
How do I keep from turning my work-at-home situation into, “Haha actually I just live at work, now”?
P.S. I had this open as a draft, got up to refill my coffee after setting a “BACK AT 10:30” away message — yes, with the all-caps — and what do I hear from my kitchen but a page and a “Hello? Helloooooooooooooooooooooooo?”
I wrote back and asked, “How does the paging work — can you turn it off or mute it if you want to?”
I don’t know if I can mute it — I can turn it down so I can’t hear it elsewhere in the house, and I have, but then I get bombarded with texts and passive-aggressive comments when I come back to my computer. Right now I have it at a volume where I can hear it if I’m up, but it’s not startlingly loud if I’m sitting at my desk, either.
I suppose I’m also worried about drawing the boundary too firmly, and seeming unavailable to my colleagues who aren’t Karen, you know? I can definitely see the value in being able to communicate within the office quickly, and it definitely does make working from home easier. But there have been plenty of times when I’ve tried to page a colleague, can’t get ahold of them in that moment, and either make a note to try back later or write an email if it’s urgent, and move on. That’s the overall staff’s approach (regardless of whether working remote or in the brick-and-mortar building.) It’s just Karen who seems to think that since I literally live at my office, I should be able to respond instantaneously to the pages and IMs.
Karen needs to be helicoptered to an island with no communication devices and left there for the duration of 2019.
It sounds like you’ve tried addressing this with Karen on a case-by-case basis, but haven’t had a bigger-picture conversation with her about it, so that’s what I’d try next. The next time you’re in the office, sit down with her and say something like this: “We need to change the system you’re using for reaching me when I’m working from home. You’ve been paging me outside my work hours for things that aren’t urgent, like X or Y, which means that I hear the page all over my house when I’m not working. And during the day, if I don’t immediately answer your call, you’ll often call my cell, even though it’s not urgent. I need to be able to focus on other projects and I need to be able to eat lunch or stop working at the end of the day without being chased down by the pager or texts. Of course if something is urgent, that’s different — but when something is not urgent, I need you to wait for me to get back to you, rather than trying to track me down in the moment when I may be dealing with something else. Can we agree that except in the rare cases where something is truly urgent, you’ll email me and wait for me to get back to you rather than expecting an instant response and trying to track me down?”
(Alternately, instead of waiting until the next time you’re in the office, you could just call her the next time this happens and say it then, which might have the benefit of conveying “I am at the end of my rope with this and we need to talk about it now.”)
If she balks at this, then say, “It’s affecting my ability to focus on other work, and it’s interfering with my off hours as well. I do need you to agree to this system going forward.”
If she says anything that sounds like no, you should say, “Okay, let me talk with (Karen’s manager) about this and see what we can figure out.”
And Karen’s manager should indeed be your next stop unless this conversation fixes the problem entirely — because what she’s doing is incredibly disruptive, incredibly rude, and incredibly weird.
You did note that your company has traditionally ignored problems, and has ignored Karen in particular. But unless you know that people have specifically complained about Karen to her manager about similar issues (in a clear, direct way, not dancing around the issue) and been ignored, I wouldn’t assume that this won’t bear fruit. Sometimes “my small company ignores problems” means “no one at my small company brings up problems, so it’s easy to ignore them” — which is different from “no one will act on anything, no matter how clearly the problem is pointed out.”
But if that doesn’t work, then you’ll need to move to solutions that change the type of access Karen has to you. Set her calls to your cell to go straight to voicemail. Mute her texts and IMs, so they’re there when you look for them but not annoying you with alerts popping up. And I’d seriously consider lowering the volume of your pager to a level where you can’t hear it outside of your office, and letting other people know that if they need to reach you urgently, they should call your cell instead of paging you.
Frankly, you could even tell her that you’re doing this! As in, “Karen, I’ve asked you not to bombard with me calls, texts, and pages for non-urgent items, but since it’s still happening, I’m going to mute your texts and pages for a while so that I’m not being constantly interrupted. I will still see them and get back to you, but they won’t be constantly popping up when I’m in the middle of something else. If there’s something that comes up that’s truly urgent and you can’t reach me, we can revisit this then, but so far none of these instances have been time-sensitive so I think this will work fine.”
As for your other working-from-home coworker who Karen leaves alone: It could be sexism, or it could be that he has a different type of job, or it could be that she’s not as comfortable with him, or who knows what. (If he does have a similar job to yours, though, I’m guessing that on some level it’s sexism. She sees his time as important and worthy of respect, while yours isn’t.) Regardless, she’s obnoxious and you have every right to create and enforce boundaries with her.
As for your worry that you’ll draw the boundary too firmly and seem unavailable to other coworkers: I don’t think you will. You’re only going to cut off Karen’s access, not everyone else’s, aside from the pager — and frankly I’m not convinced you should ever need to be paged in your own house when you’re not at your desk, when your cell could be used instead.
I work from home and my coworker wants me available 24/7 was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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telling my coworker not to bring his kids in every week, accepting coffee from my boss, and more
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. How do I tell my coworker not to bring his kids to work every week?
I teach at a university and am not on the tenure track. I am in an office with nine other instructors and we only have the illusion of privacy that four-foot-high cubicle walls can give. Recently, another instructor moved into one of the cubicles after having a private office last year. This week I was surprised to see him roll a stroller into the office and then spend the next hour and a half entertaining his two children, one a loud preschooler and the other a very curious and mobile baby. I was trying to get work done, but the loud discussions of snacks, baby burbles, and noise-making electronic toys make it impossible. I eventually gave up and spent some time entertaining the preschooler. As he left the office with his children, my coworker told the preschooler that they all would see me again next week.
I had thought this was a one-time emergency deal, but it sounds like he expects this to be a weekly thing that no one else in the office will have trouble with. The problem is that no one is in charge of the office—we’re in a different location than the department we work for, and academics are notorious for wanting everything to be democratic and to not have policies passed down from on high. I could go work somewhere else when he is in the office, but I don’t want to trade access to my work computer and books for peace and quiet. To make things even trickier, this colleague often works closely with our department chair while I do not. How do I, someone without kids and who appeared to be just fine with having loud children in the office, tell this colleague that this arrangement won’t work?
If it’s very clear that he’s planning to do this weekly (as opposed to just, say, talking nonsense to his child to get them out of there more quickly), speak up now! You could say, “I of course understand if you’re occasionally in a bind with child care, but I’m concerned about the idea of bringing your kids in every week. It was pretty loud and distracting this most recent time and made it tough to focus. I don’t that’s feasible to do weekly.” Or you can wait until it happens again and frame it as, ““I of course understand if you’re occasionally in a bind with child care, but the noise is pretty disruptive when you do. I’m sorry to ask this because I’m sure you wouldn’t be bringing them in if you had other obvious options, but it’s tough to work when they’re here. Is it something you’re planning on doing regularly?” (That’s softer than “don’t do it,” but it’s an option when “don’t do it” isn’t something you have standing to say on your own.)
That said, academia is its own odd bird, and things that would be perfectly reasonable approaches elsewhere often aren’t in academia. Any academics want to weigh in via the comments?
2. How often should I accept my boss’s offer to grab me coffee?
I am in my mid-20s and have been working in a professional environment for close to two years. I am about three months into my current job where I work as a business assistant at a law firm. I report directly to the chairman of the firm, who is very high up and well-respected. We work in a building that has a Starbucks in the lobby. My boss often goes down to grab himself coffee and asks if I would like one myself every once in a while. He offers to everyone in the area and I’ve never seen anyone accept his offer. These are not his direct reports like I am.
My question is: how often is it appropriate to accept a coffee? Sure, it’s less than $3 and not much trouble, especially if he is offering. I’ve accepted once before, but I’m unsure is there is any etiquette that could help me gauge this situation.
I don’t think there’s one definitive answer to this! My personal take is that I wouldn’t take him up on it every time (unless you’re going to start making him the same offer in return sometimes) but it’s fine to accept now and then … but I have no idea how to quantify what “now and then” means. Once a month? Once every third time he offers? Those both sound reasonable to me.
I don’t think you should feel awkward about occasionally saying yes, though. When someone repeatedly offers to do something kind for you, it can be gracious to sometimes take them up on it (if it’s something you’d genuinely like to accept). It can also build more a connection between the favor-offerer and the favor-accepter in a small but not insignificant way.
3. Employee is monopolizing the conference room to get quiet work space
My office is open, but it’s not a new, innovative concept. It’s an old building and this has happened out of necessity. We’re the support team for several businesses downstairs, so it’s never going to happen that we move into a new, more workable space. We all work pretty silently, and keep distractions to a minimum. We also have a large, open event space where we’re all accustomed to taking phone calls and having meetings.
Recently, we’ve added a few employees and the volume level in the office has increased. Most of us have just deployed headphones, until the newbies catch on. (One is our new boss, so it’s not as easy as telling them all to keep it down.) The problem is with one employee, who has taken it upon herself to consistently go work in the event space. She also happens to be the only employee with a laptop she can work off of. But now, that room is never available for anyone else. Unless we ask her to leave, which she always is willing to do — it’s just awkward. I don’t know how to communicate to her that what she’s doing is inconsiderate. It also seems like she should be able to work in there if she wants to, and it seems petty of me considering the majority of the time that space is vacant. Am I being unreasonable?
If she’s always willing to leave when the space is needed for something else, it doesn’t sound like this is really a problem. Open offices can be incredibly difficult for people to work in, and if there’s a mostly unused conference room sitting vacant, there’s no logical reason why she shouldn’t use it, as long as she’s willing to move when needed, which she is. Working in there could be making a major difference in her concentration or her productivity, as well as to her morale.
I know it might seem unfair since other people without laptops can’t do it — but then the solution is for them to ask for laptops so multiple people could use the conference room as a quiet room at the same time, not to stop her from doing it just because others can’t.
If the issue is that you feel awkward or rude asking her to vacate the room, I’d say the solution is for you realize it’s perfectly okay to do that (and she seems to think so too, based on her cheerfully leaving when asked to).
4. When I arrived for my interview, the interviewer told me the job had been changed significantly
I recently applied for a job at a large, well-respected company in an industry that I have a lot of experience with. In the third week after the job posting, the hiring manager contacted me for an interview and told me to expect that the interview would last at least an hour. All seemed fairly normal.
Three days later, I arrived for my interview, and was told point-blank that the job description had drastically changed (“due to some changes in the department”); 50% of the job would now be something that was not in the job description at all, and the person I would be reporting to would be different. While I was still trying to process this (having just sat down), she said, “If at any time you feel you are no longer interested, please let us know so that we don’t waste any time.” She then spent the next 10 minutes telling hair-raising stories about how difficult, exasperating, and stress-inducing the newly added job duties would be (it almost sounded like she was venting about something that was currently her job that would be given to the new hire) and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.
The fact that the job description had been changed on the fly was enough to deep-six my interest in working with this company (quite shocking considering their reputation and stature in the community), although the new job duties sounded pretty miserable too and they certainly didn’t sell me on working in the position. I did try to be polite but eventually had to interrupt to give a very cursory “Thanks for calling me in and here is a little bit about me and my work experience…” but then I quickly wound it up with “…and I’m sorry, but I don’t feel I’m the right person for this position as you describe it.” I added that I wished them luck in filling the position and that it might be a difficult search to find someone willing to take on such apparently demanding duties. (They said, “Don’t worry, we have a large applicant pool to go through.” I wonder if they had kept the truth from all their other applicants as well?)
I shook hands with everyone and even politely commended them on their honesty, but I also left with sour feelings too: they never once apologized for the bait-and-switch, and I had spent considerable time preparing for the interview, driving in to the interview site, arranging time off my current job, etc. It had been three weeks since the job was posted and three days since they called me in for an interview; could they not in the meantime have sent a heads-up email about how the job description had actually substantially changed and to ask if I was still interested? Am I off base for expecting that kind of consideration from a prospective employer, or is this just the way things are in the work world these days?
Yes, they should have told you beforehand so you could have decided if you were still interested or not. But while it’s reasonable to be annoyed, sometimes this stuff happens. Who knows, maybe they just nailed down the changes the night before. It’s better than if they’d interviewed you and then changed the job a week later — or worse, after hiring you.
In any case, yes, it’s annoying. But it’s also not cause for extrapolating any larger messages about the work world these days. It’s just one annoying situation that wasn’t perfectly handled.
5. Cover letters that say working there has always been a dream
Does it sound disingenuous to say that working somewhere has always been a dream? For instance, I’m a journalist and have a few publications where I have always wanted to work and/or be published (some big, like The New Yorker, but others small). In a cover letter, I would, of course, also elaborate on why I love their work and why I think it’s a particularly good fit for me — but I do that in every job application, regardless of how much I want the job. I know the New Yorker is everyone’s dream, but if I were to apply to some of the smaller publications that probably are not aspirational for every writer, does it sound childish to explain how important they are to me?
If it’s something like the New Yorker, don’t say it at all. They already know, because it’s true for so many people, and it’ll come across as slightly naive to say it.
If it’s a smaller place where it’s a much less common dream, it’s fine to spend a line or two on why you’d be so delighted to work for them — but just a line or two. They do want to know that you’re interested in working for them specifically, but that doesn’t require a lot of space to explain. They’re much more interested in hearing about why you’d excel at the role, and that’s where the bulk of your letter should focus.
telling my coworker not to bring his kids in every week, accepting coffee from my boss, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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