Remember the letter-writer who had a spider phobia and had just discovered a giant spider model on her boss’s desk? Here’s the update.
The day my letter was posted, Carolina moved into her new office. She decided to put her model directly in the window, so it very much so was on display. It was especially in the view of the greeting desk where I would have to work at on some days.
I had a coaching session with Emily that day, so I decided to bring up the issue then. However, before the coaching session, I was doing a task at the greeting desk and kept nervously glancing at the model. Carolina noticed I kept looking into her office, and came over to me to check if I wanted something from her.
I nervously blurted out the whole story: my fear of spiders, my plan to talk to Emily, my worries about how this might affect our discussions. Carolina very politely let me talk, and at the end told me, “I completely understand. I never would want to make you feel uncomfortable. There’s just one thing… That’s not a spider.”
She brought me into her office to take a closer look at the model. Indeed, it wasn’t a spider but rather a very large and weird looking beetle or something. Since the lights had been off in her office when I first saw the model, in the shadows and my haste to flee from the spider, I hadn’t looked closely and only thought it was a spider. I’m perfectly fine with beetles, and the whole thing ended up being a little embarrassing.
Carolina was very kind and understanding. We did then have a nice talk about what I should do if a situation like this were to occur, and that if there was anything I wanted to talk to her about, she was more than happy to listen. I also learned that while she may be the manager, my boss is really more Emily than her. There may be the occasional thing we deal with, but I’m pretty much reporting to Emily.
Thank you to everyone for all the advice. It really helped me structure the conversation I had with Carolina. And I’m very happy that I don’t have to actually stare at a giant spider all day.
update: I have a spider phobia — and my new boss has a giant spider model in her office was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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